I need to remember....

...how much better I feel when I work out. Even when I'm super tired (like today), super stressed (like today), and super grumpy (like today), even just 20 minutes on the bike and/or eliptical makes life incredibly more possible!! I dragged my butt down to the gym and did the bike and then a little but on the eliptical (mostly because I wanted to watch some tv... but all I saw were commercials!! On EVERY CHANNEL), and now I feel like things aren't bad at all and that going back to work will be fine. And that I can face making dinner for a grumpy boyfriend. And possibly even clean out the catbox. I mean... if that isn't magic, then I don't know what is!! I DO know that I need more tank tops that aren't super tight so that I don't overheat and die while exercising, and I need some sweat rags... stupid side effect of a medication that I'm on makes me sweat at the drop of a hat... and my face is DRIPPING right now... SO not attractive!! Add those to my shopping list... for later. I'm DONE for the night! Time to shower. But I'm excited that I have reminded myself of this. Now, to get in my habit. Time to pack the gym bag for the car. A bigger bag to keep in there, and a smaller one (or two) to carry in with me. One for "land"based activities, and another for when I want to get in the water. That way, I can go STRAIGHT to the gym after work and have whatever I need!!! Oh, that means I need another sports bra, so I can always have a clean one... Add that to the list, if anyone's keeping track!! Can't have the girls knocking me out or taking over the world!!

I wonder if going to bed at 7pm is too early... Am pretty sure that some extra sleep this week will be appreciated by everyone who is stuck in meetings with me!! I get a little strangER when I'm tired... :)

The End of Summer???

How can the summer be ending? I never got into a routine at the Y. I am not super flexible from getting really into yoga. I am not buff and toned from lifting tons of weights. I am squishy and pale and not in a routine at all... but my knee is almost healed and the scar shouldn't be AWFUL... thanks to copious applications of shea and cocoa butters. I attempted yoga today... it was hot, my balance (what little I had) is GONE after 5 weeks of healing, and my right foot started aching and burning halfway through. Not my finest hour... I'm hoping it's just lack of practice and something out of alignment in my foot and not early onset arthritis. Whatever it was, it hurt. I sat for the last part and visualized the movements... I also had to modify a bunch because I can't kneel. I can barely kneel on my right leg, and not at all on my left! Child's pose was funny looking, with legs all splayed out and knees NOT on the floor... But I made it. And parts of me are sore already! I need to do this more often.

I want to go on my way home from work at least 3 days a week... If I just go straight to the gym, then I should be able to get something in before going home. I know I'll just want to sit when I get home, so I can't go home until after I work out!! Now, if only I can stick to that... No more 5 week lapses with minimal activity. It does bad things for everything. Even if I'm healing.

I'm looking forward to getting back in the pool, though I don't really like the Y's water classes... so I'm going to try to get into lap swimming. At least a little bit, and then some treading water and doing my own water aerobics movement stuff. But I want to wait until my knee is "fully approximated", i.e., closed all the way. I'm almost there. Just a small circle in the middle that is just a scab and not new skin yet. Once that is closed, then I won't feel like I have an open sore and am open to infections and other ickiness in a very communal pool!

My goals: get balance back... and better!! Increase endurance. Feel more confident. Get to the Y regularly!! :)

Wooo!

My knee is healing, albeit slowly... I took such a deep chunk out of part of my knee that it will take a few weeks to heal from the inside... Which means that the new skin is tender and too much stress on it makes my leg HURT. Like shooting pains up and down my leg hurt... That definitely makes me scared about doing too much too soon. Running around after Keiler and Emery created major pain. So I've been nervous about getting back to the YMCA to even do gentle stuff, like the eliptical or bike. I wanted to go on Sunday, but had some sort of stomach bug that made me feel absolutely icky!! So that was not going to happen. But. Bless Katie Sprague! Monday she messages me about meeting her at the Y to brave the cardio equipment. Perfection! It's the kind of great timing that you can't pass up. So I agreed. And just hoped that nothing would happen to derail those plans.
And I made it!! My goal was 20-25 minutes on the recumbant bike. Well. I did 37 minutes!! Katie and I just chatted away and sweated away and worked out for 37 minutes!! I'm excited. I feel fantastic, my knee doesn't hurt, and I have a new plan for my summer!! I had hoped to do lots of yoga this summer, but with not being able to kneel, that's not an option. :-(  So I'm going to try to go nearly every day and do at least half an hour on the bike or eliptical. :-) and probably do my weight room orientation. I like lifting weights, when I can make myself do it, so I want to get to know how to use all that cool stuff!!! Wish me luck!!

Wow, it's been awhile... *warning. Icky pictures in this post!*

It's been nearly a month since I last posted... Lots has happened!! I worked out a few times, survived the Fourth in Keyport (Was SOOOOO Tired, but it was a great time!), worked ESY (definitely a workout in and of itself...), did Yoga with Shanna, which was great!!, and went to Hawaii.

Unfortunately for my developing routine, I fell in a lava tube in Hawaii and tore up my knee pretty well....

 

Was patched up by Rangers at the Volcano Park, and then went to a small-town ER.

 

A whole 4 bed ER with wonderful nurses and a doctor originally from Texas.

 

  I got numbed up,

 cleaned up, 

 

and patched up. Was given antibiotics and pain meds, and told to NOT go in the ocean. I felt like I had steak tartar for a knee, and would not like to tempt any nearby sharks with my lovely knee.

 

I slowly and painfully healed somewhat, and after a trip to the local health clinic, my wound was deemed "Beautiful!" and I was allowed to go in the ocean on my last day!! As long as I kept taking my antibiotics and kept it clean. I was definitely ok with that, and the swim was wonderful!!!! Even if my knee looked icky at the end of each day of walking around... I had new bandages and ointment and it is healing from the inside out.

Unfortunately, though, kneeling is OUT of the question for awhile. And I shudder to think of what pool water will feel like on it... I baths and showers aren't comfortable at all right now, as my nerves are still pretty raw and confused. So I think I will be riding the recumbant bike at the gym and hopefully getting Chris to walk with me outside. The major irritants (for me) are done blooming, so I should be ok walking in the great outdoors. I have to be careful to not push it too much, though. At Marja's wedding yesterday, I did a lot of Twin Wrangling with the boys. And today I am paying for it with aching and burning in my knee that is radiating. Too much pulling on new tissue. Not fun at all. I need to make a doctor's appointment for myself to make sure it's healing well and to follow up on my CPAP and allergy stuff. For now, the plan of care is  Ibuprofin, antibiotics, lots of yogurt, and trying to stay off my leg. Setbacks suck. But I've got lettuce in the fridge. A nice salad with strawberries on it sounds really good right now...
 

Damnit... Slippage!!!

After that stellar evening, I felt pretty darn good! I could even walk the next day. I can't do the evening classes on Tuesdays because I have my fabulous Mary Kay Meeting. So that was already planned for. What wasn't in the plan was where I was in my cycle. I thought it would be just fine and I would go back on Wednesday.... However, I started PMSing hard core. And I mean MAJORLY. My attitude came out like none other. "No, I don't actually want to make you a sandwich. You are welcome to make yourself one. I don't particularly care that I was just in the kitchen. I don't plan on making you a fricken sandwich"... (he made eggo waffles in the toaster.... and didn't bring it up again that day). And my attitude was directed at myself, as well. Granted, in addition to the bitchiness, I was also nauseas and a little dizzy... Not great combos. So I attiduded myself out of going to the gym on Wednesday... Ahhh, derailments. How easily you are to slide in!!!!
Thursday we set up for ESY (gotta love when the HeadStart teacher doesn't show for 3.5 hours....) and then I had errands to run... Had forgotten my epi pen, too, so I couldn't get an allergy shot that morning... It wasn't my day. And it was That Time of the Month, so I didn't really feel like getting in the pool... Further sliding off the track I'd been on for one whole evening! Friday was Friday, of course! And Chris and I went to the park and played ladderball. Which was something, but it wasn't a hard workout... And then today. I was planning on doing Gentle Yoga with mom at 5. No prob. A little apprehensive, as I've never taken a real yoga class, but it's for beginners, so I think I can do it. Problem? I went to the park to read and get some sun... and did a little Hawaii shopping... And lost track of time. Also forgot to drink water. Did you know that not drinking water and reading in the sunshine on a hot day makes you feel EXTRA crappy when you're on your period? Um... it DOES! So I bailed on that, when I finally realized it was 445 and I was still out and about, slick with sunscreen, and lightheaded with dehydration. I would not have held any pose other than corpse very well.... Then, to further crap out of anything healthy, I played Call of Duty: Black Ops for nearly 5 hours... Major slippage, here!!!
But tomorrow is a new day. The 3rd of July, which means set up for the breakfast and Fireworks on the Fjord. I plan on getting to the Y and maybe doing the elliptical for 25 mins? Or, if there are open lanes, swimming a few laps in addition to something else... And then making a cool whip cheese cake, doing Keyport stuff, and getting the rest of my stuff together for ESY... Time to get back on track, back on the wagon, back to the gym. Every part of me will thank me for it!!!!!

Did It... Day 1!

Tonight I spent over 2 hours at the Y. Got my butt in pool and stayed there for 2 hours. Which may have been overkill... Was fine while I was in the water, but boy is gravity different when you get out after 2 hours!!!! Steph came with me, bless her!! First was supposedly Deep Water Fitness, which is supposed to math this description: This no impact aerobic workout utilizes floatation belts, hand buoys and ankle cuffs to aid in flotation and increase the effort of the workout. This class improves cardiovascular fitness, muscle strength and flexibility.  And, instead, it was a lot of running in place with different arm movements and not so much aerobic... Not deep water, either. I guess I was spoiled at BTAC where the classes were actually what the schedule said, and the instructors (for the most part) knew their stuff and were energetic. The instructor was young and seemed a little self conscious. I ended up doing some of my own things (you can only jog in place for so long in the water without getting completely bored... So I was looking forward to AquaZumba, which would at least have some good music. The description is: Splashing, stretching, twisting, even shouting, laughing, hooting and hollering are often heard during an Aqua Zumba class. Integrating the Zumba formula and philosophy with traditional aqua fitness disciplines, Aqua Zumba blends it all together into a safe, challenging, water-based workout that’s cardio-conditioning, body-toning, and most of all, exhilarating beyond belief. I was not disappointed in the music, and the instructor's friend (? I think?) joined her in teaching. He was REALLY animated, which was fun to watch. She was less so, but it was incredibly hot on the deck, and cold in the pool. Perfect temp for me, as long as I kept moving, but other people with less insulation and who were trying to actually DO the Zumba moves were goosebumpy by the end!! I ended up giving up on trying to follow (so much harder to go fast in the water, especially when you're naturally buoyant like I am!!) and I canNOT stay on the bottom of the pool!!! I moved to the deeper end and substituted a lot of my own moves... and that worked a LOT better for me!! Actually got some cardio and some serious oblique work.

I felt good in the water, even after the 2 hours of pretty much non-stop moving... but when I got OUT of the water, I swear that gravity had doubled!!! My legs are SO tired, and I am still thirsty, though I've downed 2 water bottles already. But it was great to get back in the pool. I'm hoping to find a class that meshes with my style, and I'm going to add some cardio and weights before getting in the pool. Slowly, I'll add them in!!

Tomorrow I have a medical appointment and my Mary Kay meeting, but in between I'm going to do my best to get in and do something in self-defense!! I know I need to be really careful to do something everyday(ish) for about 2 weeks and then I'll be over the hump... But it's going to be an uphill 2 weeks!! I'm already dreading how tomorrow morning will be when I go to get out of bed!! But way to go me!! :) 

Ok.... Now I need to do it!

Like so many things in my life, I get excited to start, and then I never actually complete it... I'm really trying not to do that, AGAIN, with this!! I've been once. And then it was the end of the school year. And then I got sick. First a migraine, then finishing at work, then a virus, and a wedding to help at... Now it's a beautiful day and I cleaned out my car and walked up and down my hill about twelve times. Which is quite the hill!! But those are all excuses, legitimate though they may be. I HAVE to get a schedule set up so that I will go REGULARLY TO THE GYM. REGULARLY being the key word. Just making sure you picked up on that subtlety, as it was just in all CAPS... I need to go REGULARLY. That is always my problem. I start something, get into a groove, then get sick, injured, or have some obligation, and I'm all derailed and it takes me months or years to get back on track. I can't do that again. So I'm hoping the blog helps me to be held accountable and I KEEP ON GOING...

Writing this blog has allowed me to focus on the schedules and make up a schedule of my own for classes I'd like to take... That way I can look at the page and know what my options are! Tomorrow I'm going to try to get in for Deep Water Aerobics. And maybe stay for AquaZumba, depending on how I feel. I may just watch from the hot tub!! The way things are spread out, it looks like I could go in the late morning for some Mind Body Spirit stuff (yoga, balance, pilates) and then in the evening for water stuff. That could be really good!! And then fill in with cardio and weights (after I take the tour and get the intro to the new equipment!!). 

This is what I have come up with after looking through the schedules and descriptions:

Here are the things I know I enjoy:
Water Aerobics. Especially in the deep end, where I have to tread water the whole time.
Elliptical. For some reason, I actually like spending 20-30 minutes going nowhere...

Recumbent Bike. Less back strain. Used to do it a lot at Western... Years ago.

A good weight routine. I've enjoyed it in the past. Until I got derailed...

Here are things I think I might enjoy:

Gentle Yoga. No way I can do regular yoga for a whole hour. Screaming and kicking and biting 4 year olds--yes! Real Yoga? Oh hell no.

Tai Chi. Sounds very calming and relaxing. I need to get more graceful, so maybe the smooth motions would help?

Lazy River Walking. With a friend. I like water. And walking against currents.

I think I should TRY:
AquaZumba- latin beats but in the pool. Harder to tell if your legs aren't doing the right thing!!

Gentle Yoga--Best part is the teacher is my coworker's daughter. And mom says she's great.

Stretch Band Fitness--No idea what it really is, but sounds interesting

Foam Rolling--Again, no ideas, but could be good?

Balance-- Something I DEFINITELY need to work on!!

Have a Ball--Shanna tried it... Dunno if I'd survive it, but I can do most things once!! Maybe I'll like it?

Lap Swimming--I really should get my endurance up... And that's the way to do it! Plus, I love being in the water.

Here are the things I know I don't enjoy:

Zumba. I don't forget that I'm working out. I am entirely too clumsy and uncoordinated. And I end up pulling things when trying to correct moves when I screw them up. Just hurts my back and my confidence.

Step Aerobics. Again, the lack of coordination kicks in. Eventually I'll keel over and fall off the step. Not fun or entertaining! Well, might be entertaining...

Treadmills going any faster than a walk. And even going for a walk, there's something about the fact that it keeps going that freaks me out... Since I'm clumsy! Tripping or catching a toe on the treadmill is a great fear of mine... Nothing like total humiliation and a chance to wind up on YouTube...

Now. To actually go... And to adjust Chris's schedule so that I can be at the gym before 6. He'll be so happy? But he's supportive of me going, which is good. Anyway, that's what I've got. I'm finally on a more even keel, healthier than last week, and sleeping better with the CPAP. Now to tackle the gym and eating more produce! I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.... 

DID IT!

Saturday was spent relaxing, having some much-needed ME time, and lounging around. I had a staff party to go to and some chores to do around the house (none of which I got to). Then Steph sent me a text asking if I wanted to go to the gym. I was cutting the time close (the staff party started at 4), but figured that the gym was worth being a little late. And Steph is so smart... She said she'd park here and we could walk to the gym. No problem! The only rough part was walking back... Up the Incredibly Steep Hill. Anyway. So I agreed to go with her. I found my stuff, got ready, and walked to the gym.

I was hoping to change my payment plan to monthly, rather than 6 months at a time, like I THOUGHT I would be able to swing... But it turns out I wasn't able to do that. So on the card it went... Whoops!! Worth it, though. And then we were off to the races. Steph hadn't been to the Silverdale Y before, so first it was a tour. And then it was trying to decide what to do. I've been having trouble with my hip flexor being insanely tight and painful, so I tried to minimize the strain and chose the elliptical.
 

So it has been awhile since I worked out... And it has been a long time (over a year) since I used the elliptical regularly... And I totally felt the difference. Nothing like the god-awful, soul-crushing, image-smacking realization that you are in even WORSE shape than you thought! I felt like ... I really needed to be at the gym. But. I did 20 minutes at 110 paces/min at a slight incline. Only stopping once to get something from my bag. And then I did 5 minutes of cool down. So 25 minutes getting back in the saddle. Not bad!! Then we did some stretching. It felt good! However, then it was time to walk home. I don't know if you know my hill, but it is STEEP. We caught AIR when we went sledding down it in the snow... So walking up it SUCKS. My body was not happy with me for doing that after the workout, but I made it. And that, in itself, is an accomplishment. And I drank TONS of water (and had to pee a ton).
 

After that was the staff party (tons of fun!!) and coasting the endorphin wave the rest of the evening. I love the post-workout feeling. I always forget how good it feels... Unfortunately, the last week of school is INSANELY busy, so getting to the gym is going to be a challenge. I think I will have to skip a get-together tomorrow night so that I can get my allergy shot, go to the chiropractor, pick up mascara from Tara that I forgot to order for a coworker, give Marja her makeup, and spend some actual time with Chris. He said that if I make Breakfast for Dinner, then he will be ok with me ditching him to go to the gym tomorrow night with Steph. As long as I don't stay away too long, so we can catch up on the series finale of Camelot that he has waiting for us on his computer!! So busy this week... I'm already tired..........

Ok. Time to get ready for bed. I am a beyond tired person. Goal for this week: An extra fruit serving each day and get to the gym once before Friday evening...

Almost Friday

I've made it through what ended up being an INCREDIBLY HARD WEEK!!! For all sorts of reasons. As much as I look forward to the end of the school year, I really dislike the end of the school year! So much going on, so many things to do, and everyone is exhausted. So even though I planned to start going to the Y this week, a killer allergy headache, a need for a Cosmo, and a surprise medical bill delayed my good intentions. But I'm determined that by Saturday afternoon, I'll be paid up and have experienced my first workout there.

Great news as of this evening is that I now have 3 gym buddies, who all like different things. Steph is great with cardio and weights, Shanna likes classes, and Sarah likes to swim. It's awesome!! It's going to be awesome. Now I just need to follow through... Which is the hard part. But hopefully it will work out. I'm trying to be positive!!

I have 2 new-to-me bathing suits just waiting to be washed and worn in the pool. I love being in the water, and I want to get better at lap swimming (I totally suck wind and have asthma flares during lap swims). And the only way to get better is to practice. And since Sarah *not me* is training with the Tri-Babes for a Triathlon, she has motivation to get better, too... We'll mock ourselves and support each other together!!!

Chris is getting on the healthier-living bandwagon, at least as far as supporting me making healthier choices. I've got hope that he'll start making some healthier choices himself. I'd like to have him around longer than his dad was... 52 is way too young...

That's all I have right now. Chris goes to Vancouver tomorrow early to paint his aunt's house, I have a long day of paperwork and packing at work, and then a doctor's appointment to get my CPAP and go over the instructions for it. Hopefully it makes a great difference in how I feel... I could use some extra energy.

My goal for the next 2 days: Pay for the month at the Y and start working out slowly.

And so it begins...

I'm lying in bed, thinking about going to sleep, and I've started this blog because I want to make some big, huge, enormous, and scary changes in my life. I want to work out, regularly, and get healthy. It isn't about getting skinny, though that would be nice... It is about not feeling so horribly out of shape, so icky and gross, so huge. I don't know when it happened that I grew so much, but I'm waaaay too big. I know better. I'm smart and I know how things work. But somewhere along the way, I got lost and "rewarded" myself for feeling down. I rewarded myself with food and shopping. And neither has worked out well for me. The time for that is past, and I am making lots of changes. 

Here are some that I've done so far: Chris moved in (HUUUUUGE). I stopped leaving clothes on the bathroom floor--might not sound huge, but ask my mom. It is.-- I usually remember to rinse my plate. I pay much more attention to what I'm buying. I get more sleep. I started selling Mary Kay. We made it through Chris's dad dying. 

It's been quite the year. But in all of that, I've started eating like Chris (not much produce, too much bacon, too much cheese) and I have been entirely too sedentary.  Also, I've been sick a LOT, and I don't sleep well. Turns out, I have sleep apnea (thanks, dad's side of the family, I so needed to stop breathing while sleeping). I'm getting a CPAP soon, so hopefully that will help with the whole feeling tired all the DAMN TIME. And if I'm not as tired all the time, then maybe I'll do better with going to the gym. I've joined the new YMCA and I WILL get there regularly. I KNOW I feel better when I work out. I just have to remember that when I'm tired on my way home from work... 

A huge plus is that, as of today, I am going to visit my friend, Rosie, in Hawaii this summer. So that gives me a short-term goal. Hopefully I can make that work. I attempted to make the March of Dimes March for Babies 4 mile walk a mini-goal.... and I totally didn't get moving for that. I'm going with the theory that I don't have to run that experiment again... And I'm paying more to the Y than I did for the March... Fingers crossed.

I think I can go to sleep now. I feel better for having started SOMETHING. Writing may not burn many calories, but it does wonders for emotional health!! Which is just as important!!