Woot!!!!

I feel successful. That is a wonderful feeling!! I should do a brief run-down of why it is so wonderful to complete something...
In my last post, I said that I was going to go to the doc at the end of the month for a physical and a meds check. Well, my mental and emotional health just tanked in the last couple of weeks. I felt hopeless, exhausted, like it was all I could do to get through the work day. I was pointless at home and our apartment looks like a tornado came through. So. I called and got in an 8am appointment with my doc. Apparently, my symptoms perfectly fit Seasonal Affective Disorder, and I had slid into a major depressive episode. Ah ha!! That fits PERFECTLY!!! So we switched my meds from Paxil (which I don't think worked well...) to Prozac. I waited around for the pharmacy to open and I swear I could feel the difference by that afternoon. Fingers crossed that this will work out well. The only real downside, though I have no medical statements for or against my theory, is that I may be going through withdrawals from the Paxil. While the recommendation from the doc was to not taper and just switch, from what I've read on various forums and sites, coming off of the Paxil can be really hard. I think my crazy dreams (so vivid, so intense, so unsettling), the rolling tingling and dizziness and lightheadedness, and the messed up sleeping may be due to coming off of that med. I'm hoping that this will pass quickly. On several forums, people wrote that exercising really helped with the dizziness. Apparently, that was the last encouragement I needed, and today I actually did it.
I made it to the Y!!
I got off my butt, into my gym clothes, and onto a bike. I rode the bike for an HOUR. I didn't push hard, as I haven't been very active in awhile. But I was steady!! And I increased the resistance.  Then I did the arm bike for a while and played with resistance until my arms were shaking (not hard, my upper body strength sucks).

While working out, I was able to watch the weather changing. Amazing views, of sunshine, then snow, then a bank of snow clouds coming in from Bremerton-area.

Beautiful!

 I was hoping that the workout would help the dizziness... Instead, I think it made things worse. But I am pushing through and enjoying the "natural antidepressants" that endorphins give you. Chris and I are going to go out to dinner for a Date Night, and then we will start packing.

Did I mention the exciting news? We have found an apartment, in Keyport, for less than we are paying now, with 200 more square feet and a fireplace. Our applications are in and *fingers crossed* we should hear soon about it. So I am starting to pack. Really, I'm starting to get rid of recycling and trash and crap that I've held onto for too long.
 Anyway, time to go to dinner with my man!!

Let's try this again!

It's only been a few months since my last post. That's about the last time I really did much towards health/weight loss. School started, and I've been sick. A lot. Not the drippy nose kind, but the crazy painful sinuses kind, and the exhaustion kind, and the stomach flu kind... And had a cough and nausea and lots of headaches. And did I mention the exhaustion? It was like I couldn't win. Cognitively, I wanted to go to the gym. Physically, I needed to go to the gym, but I just couldn't get there. I had also changed medication for my depression/anxiety, and the new stuff really isn't cutting it. I don't give a crap. About much at all. And I feel super ADD. Am so distractable and unfocused! And forgetful. Very forgetful. So I've sat.

After getting sick so much, I decided that it was past time to do SOMETHING. When the allergy office called about me not coming and getting my shots (can't get them when you're sick... I've been sick repeatedly), I said I was going to put it on hold since I haven't been healthy for more than a week and a half at a time since July. They pointed out that the Doc is also an immunologist. Ahhhhhh. Good point. So I made an appointment. I now have $85 in new meds and a followup appointment after I get some bloodwork done. Just have to get into the lab after 1 and before they close, so that a certain test that has to be done on live cells can be done... I still hate needles, so I'm working on getting up the nerve and the energy and the motivation to get to the lab. And did I mention that it's hard to give a crap about anything? Fun times. I've also made an appointment (finally....) to get a physical and do a meds review. Probably need to change to a different one... That actually works? That would be nice. I've been really "ah, what the hell" for the last couple months. Not so helpful...

So that brings me to the new year, starting out on a track that might (oh please???) lead to more energy, less illness, and more motivation to do... anything. I have wonderful and supportive friends who have offered to make standing dates at the Y to help me get there. I have 2 great docs who are working on trying to help me figure out what is going on. I have a mom who is as frustrated as I am about me being sick and tired all the time. I have a boyfriend who doesn't know what to do to help, but wants me to feel better. And I have me. I am smart and capable. I can navigate these obstacles, maybe take a nap when I get home and then go to the gym, and get through this crappy time. Oh, and get all my paperwork done in time... No stress!! While our apartment complex goes through the foreclosure process and Chris and I adjust to his working the night shift. Anyway, enough venting. I need to sleep and get through this cold so that I can make plans and implement them to make good lifestyle changes. And to get my butt to the lab... :) I hate getting blood drawn. Thank you if you read this much. You are important to me and I appreciate your support!!!