So I've been waiting for the increased energy that I have heard so much about... And last night, I experienced it!! Unfortunately, it clicked in around 9pm. So I was awake until after 2. Not productive energy, but still, energy. I had a lot of time to think, about all manner of things. I like the way things are going on the vegan diet. I like how I'm feeling. And I'm excited to continue. I'm also realizing that with more energy coming back, I'm going to start wanting to help others more. It's something that I used to really enjoy. I love what I do, and I know I help kids at work. Communication is so important.
But I also have major concerns about those coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan. Having watched some friends come home, changed, and knowing how things went with my dad's generation coming home from Vietnam, I am incredibly concerned about the long term effects of combat stress, being constantly on the alert, closed head injuries from concussive blasts, and the fact that when they come home, they are forever changed, sometimes slightly, sometimes significantly, always different. Like in Vietnam and WWII, returning soldiers are unlikely to talk about what they have been through. Life has gone on while they were gone, and many friends and family are not ready or able to understand what went on. I can only imagine, based on books written by returning soldiers and by some stories shared by friends, but there needs to be something available to these courageous men and women who have been through so much, given so much, and deserve to get the support they need to get back into Civilian Life.
In the fire department, especially disturbing calls, the responders sit down and debrief. They talk about what happened, how they responded, how they felt. What could have happened. What did happen. Sharing the information gives the memory less power. Growing up, many informal debriefs happened at my house. I learned early on that sharing traumatic events makes coping easier. Not everyone can listen to a debrief. Being horrified doesn't help. But being a listening ear can make a huge difference. I've tried to do that for friends coming home. I have done that for friends who are first responders. But I want to do more. I want to be part of helping those who have experienced incredibly traumatic events in the service of our country. Watching friends come home changed and not knowing what to do, and not knowing how to convince them that it is BETTER to talk, and that it will help relieve some of the pressure inside... It makes me feel helpless. I know that the VA has people to help. I could work there with guys who have significant TBIs and swallowing issues. But I know there are those to help them. My big concern is for those with more "mild" problems. Chronic stress, chronic memories, they take an ever increasing toll. Just look at the Vietnam Vets. 40 years later and so many are STILL struggling. And that was without the regular concussive blasts that roll through brains and disrupt connections from IEDs and RPGs. Add that to the stress of combat... I fear for the future of my generation.
I'm one person, with a degree in speech pathology, but I wish there was something more I could do. I can listen, without judging, without internalizing, and with compassion. I just wish there was a way I could use that skill to help. I guess I'm feeling helpless, as I watch more troops come home, knowing that so many in their lives won't understand enough, and that the stigma of PTSD may keep them from getting some help, and that the VA is overloaded and underfunded... It is so frustrating. If anyone has any ideas... I'm definitely open to suggestions. I want to do more. I just don't know what to do.
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